Un-send Letter

When it happens, it feels like I'm dying. I feel so lonely-- like I don't have anyone around me. Friends are special. Best friends are everything. Even losing a best friend is worse than losing a lover. You know why? Because friendship is kind of a special love, that is not supposed to be fade. Sometimes there is no huge fight that marks the end of friendship. You know, sometimes it just falls apart for no good reason. Even some reasons that doesn't make sense. Or because of the distance. New relationships. New priorities. Because as we get older, these things can be more important that our connection. They shouldn't be. But they do.

But it is not what's happening to me. I even still don't understand. I have been told that I need to get rid of this bad behavior. I mean-- I know, that uh-- I should not be doing this. Like, I can't keep everything. I need to learn how to let go something that we care about. But yeah, it is not easy. But oh well, I'm trying. But you know, you make me feel guilty as fuck dammit! Tell me what did I do, then you do your own thing, then I'll do mine. I don't care if you don't even want to talk to me. Oh well I do. But fine, do what you want, I'm not your mother so I have no right on you even if I care. But fine.

You might never read this, but if you do, I want to tell you that I'm sorry for everything I did. I really am. It's uncomfortable having this silent treatment with someone who used to chill out with me, who used to tease me, and talk to me. Well, once again, I'm sorry.