Sorry.

Dear M,

It's been months since I don't hear anything from you. It's been months since the last time we talked. I know, I left you, I might hurt you with every single words I said. I know I was stupid, I was being so damn selfish. You promised, you would always behind my back no matter what. You promised that you would be there for me even though everything has changed. You promised you always support me in everything I do, no matter what happened between us. Damn it, M! Can you just please keep one of your promises, can't you?

You are one of the those three friends that could change me in a good way. You made me do things that I never thought I could. You were always there, you used to listen about my story, you are the only person who always be there to support me in everything I do. Even though sometimes you might think that I was crazy.

You are my best friend. You really are. I never want to lose you. But I dumped you. I know, that was the stupidest decision I have ever made. I know, you have never expected it before. That thing, crossed my mind a day before I left you. Then, I think that was the best decision. But I was wrong. I wasn't thinking about it clearly. I love you, I do. You are the best guy friend I have ever had, until something happened.

Something that I never thought I would. Something that I never thought could happen. Something that I hate to face it. Something that I never wanted to have it. I was in love with you. I really was. I don't know if you felt the same? We talked, we laughed, we shared happiness, sadness, we shared everything, except, feelings. I wasn't sure what you felt about me, I'm not sure until now.

You became a very sweet person I've ever met. You were really super sweet. And I loved that. Remember when I sent you something, and you response was "My Zulfaaaaaa thank you so much! That was the best thing I've ever got! I will save it forever". My question is, do you still save it? Do you see it when you think of me? I don't know. Remember, when you said "I know you can do it, Zulfa. I believe in you". And those words, made me do things that I never thought I could.

I love you. I miss you. Us. I know, I shouldn't have those feelings. But now, don't worry, I don't have it anymore, I hope. Yeah, I hope I don't. Where are you? Why are you doing this silence treatment? Why are you making me feel so bad? Why are you avoiding me? Why? All I wanted to say is, SORRY. I can't even explain how sorry I am. You are the best friend I have ever had. You are the best guy friend I have ever had. I need you. I need you so much.

I know you will never read this, but I hope, you know that I'm truly sorry. I'm sorry for being so selfish. I'm sorry, and I want us to be friend again. I am sorry.

Zulfa.