You Guys Are Wonderful.

Friends.

Really, I sometimes think "Why do I have friends like them?" ; "Where on the earth did I meet them?". But, it always end by this question "What my life would be without them? Without those crazy people around me who always cheer me up, piss me off, make fun of me, and--" I don't know. No, I don't. You know, they are just too precious for me. Of course, we had problems. Well, we had and we have. But still, they always make my day good, or well-- it could be bad. But one thing you guys should know. They make my my life so colorful. Bright to dark. This high school year, wouldn't be so colorful without them. Seriously, I don't care even though they gave me some dark days, but all I know, is that, they gave a bunch of memories.

Thank you guys, I love you :) xx

That girl behind me is, Maudya. She was my chairmate last year, and now we're in the same class again, and would be in the same class for next year! She's nice, a good friend, but-- she's so damn too innocent!

And this! I don't think you can really see it! :D Okay, so there are-- Anya, Deni, Faza, Tito, Me of course, and also Maudya. Actually, it was only three of us (me, Anya, & Maudya). But then, Tito came, so did Faza and Deni. So yeah-- :P

So, there was a little story about me, and my mates.  

"Teman berikan aku ketenangan, Teman buat kurasakan bahagia"

-Teman by Ten 2 Five-

Precious.

I sometimes wonder what is the meaning of my name. Well, there are some meanings of my name, in some language. Like in Arabic, Zulfa means-- the closer one. But, in African, it means precious. I didn't know that my name meant precious. Someone told me that, then I looked it up on internet, and yup, it means precious. And Amany means wishes. So the meaning of my name is precious wishes. Isn't beautiful? :P

Damn how I love my name haha. Thanks, mum, dad! x

----

Precious Wishes.
Precious. Wishes.

Name is a prayer. That's what everybody told me. And that's true. I uh-- I don't know, I just feel like my life is so damn precious. God, I can't even tell you how precious it is. Well, all I can tell you is, I have reached 75% of my wishes or dreams when I was a kid in my age right now, and the 25%? I'm going to make it come true in 5 years I hope :). But, don't you ever think that I've reached them easily. 

Everything needs a process. Well, some people may think that I'm kind of people who likes to dream or imagine something that there is not a big chance to make it come true. But who cares? It would happen if you believe in it, and also in yourself. Cause you know, if you don't believe in it, how could people believe in your dream, when the dreamer don't even believe in it.

For example, when I was in elementary school, I used to dream that someday I would go to Malaysia and Singapore in June-July 2008, and when I went abroad, I want to be payed. I'm not coming from a rich family. And, you know what? I was payed to go to Malaysia and Singapore right in June-July 2008. I even celebrated my birthday in Malaysia! And that moment is unforgettable! And guess what now? Everytime I go abroad, I never been payed it by myself. Oh right, I'm not old enough to pay it by myself LOL. But even my parents! I never been payed by my parents :)

Really, since I've been taught to believe in my dreams, and myself of course, I could make my dreams come true. 75% of them in my age right now, and I'm only 17 years old. I'm writing this, doesn't mean I want to show off or something, but I want to tell you about life. About our power that you might don't even know it before. Do you know what the power is? Ourself. Really.

"And without you girls, where would we be?" -J-

God created earth.

God created humans.

God created two kind of humans. A boy that will turn into a guy and would be a man. And a girl that will turn into a lady and would be a woman. World seems so perfectly beautiful when they are in love with each other. Really. So beautiful. Can you imagine that feeling of being loved by someone? Yeah, I know it feels so special. What about that feeling of being loved by someone we love? Damn, that is the best feeling ever! It makes you special? Check. What else? It makes you feel worthwhile! But it also could be sick, and dark when one of them is betraying their partner. Seriously, it is not the best feeling ever. Being betrayed by the love one? Oh for God sake, that is so hurt! 

So, I met this guy. He's no one. But seriously, if every guy was like him, world would be more beautiful. Because there is going to be a lot of love. Like really really lot of love. Here is my conversation with him:

Him: What is your deepest secret?
Me:   Haha if I told you then, that wouldn't be secret anymore.
Him: Lol fine. My deepest secret is that I like Twilight.
Me:   Hahaha, really? Oh well I like Twilight.
Him: Yeah?
Me:   It's just, you know, I rarely find guys who like Twilight, especially american guy like you.
Him: Haha have you read the books and seen all the movies?
Me:   To be honest.. Yeah haha. You?
Him: Yup, and my favorite is the last one cause of the romance and action I think every girl should be treated like that.
Me:   Yeah, right. And Edward is a verrrry sweet guy!
Him: Yeah, they should, they are princesses! And without you girls, where would we be?
Me:   Haha, oh right. Oh well, I can say that you are sweet!
Him: Well, thank you. But it is true, why wouldn't you give a girl everything she wants? When she gives you kids, and makes your life wonderful!

                                                                                                 - J -


What a word! What a guy! What a heart!

<3

Being fake? Be ready to get killed.

What happen with people these days? We smile at them being nice, but they look at us as if their daughter was raped by us.

--

What happen with people these days? We try to talk to them to make everything alright, but they don't even appreciate it.

--

What happen with people these days? Only come to us when they need something and leave us when they don't.

--

What happen with people these days? They don't even look in the eyes when they are talking with us because their new friends are around.

I don't understand. I uh-- I really don't. People are acting weird lately. Weird in a very very super weird way. It seems like being nice is wrong, being fake is good. Or, being nice is wrong, being fake is wrong. God, what the hell I supposed to do then?

Well, I rarely meet people who only has one face. Who treats everyone with the same treatment. Like, literally no. Everyone has two faces nowadays, or even more. Who knows? Like they're being nice in front us, then they're talking about us on our back. Or, they're being nice just to know about us, then they stab us on our back.  I got to say that, it is hard to have a real friends nowadays. I sometimes think "who are my real friends?". I  sometimes hope that they are my real friends. Seriously, I do. I mean, are they going to be here even though I'm not like this anymore? Are they going to support me in everything I do (in a good way) or they will just leave me and think that I'm nuts?

But I think I have found someone who always be there for me

Well, I hope I'm not wrong. No, no, no, no, not a boyfriend. It is a girl. I have never had a friend like her before! You know what do I like about her? Her sincerity. She really is sincere, and she is not that type of girl who is shy to act crazy in front of people. I mean, she always act as herself. Always. I can't even go a day without having crazy things without her. You know, sometimes I wish, my friends were all like her. But yeah, that is going to be boring. I mean, life without problems? It seems like we will never learn something. 

I sometimes wonder, what the hell is on their mind? Faking friendship? Seriously, faking a friendship is worse than faking a relationship. Well, um, not really, almost the same actually. But still. God, seriously? Friendship? Being friends with us only taking those shitty advantages? Oh puh-lease. You may have a lot of friends right now even you're faking it. But I  think I have to warn you,

be ready to get killed!

LIFE is all we NEED

Life. I sometimes think what does it mean. Like-- you know, until now, I can't really define what life is. Life could be either hard or easy. It depends on how you deal with it. Just like what Mae West said, 

“You only live once. But if you do it right, once is enough” 

I used to think that I haven't done it right, so I kind of thought that I needed my second life. I made too many mistakes, too many stupidities. But that what life is. Life is full with mistakes. I may not doing those great things in my life right now, but just so you know, I'm trying to. I really am.

I thought we couldn't change the line that God made. We couldn't change our fate. But actually we could. It could be better or worse. Again, it depends on how you deal with it. For example, you were offered a good chance of a lifetime, but maybe you said something that you didn't mean to, then voila, you lost that chance of a lifetime! Only in like maybe less than a minute, less than 10 words, you lost everything. That's how you change your fate to be worse, not to be better. True story, cause it happened to me-- like, literally happened. No lies.

-----

And when we have a problem in our life, there's only two options in our mind. Face it. Leave it. "Leave it" actually means "avoid it" and that means "go kill yourself!". We can never runaway from our problem. We can't. The farther you run, the closer they come. Those two options should be faced and solved. Just like what my mom used to say, 

“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.”

Because you know, those problems we have, cannot be solved by itself. It should be solved by us. You will not be happy until you finish something that you started. Like you will not be happy until you solve the problem you made. Well, let say that you will be haunted by them. Again, true story. Again, it happened to me.

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Ha! Seems like my life is full with problems. But yeah, thats my life. I did too many mistakes in my life which makes me sure, that, I'm going to learn something new. Because life is a gift that was given by God. A gift that should be taken care by us. A gift that is not everybody can have it, cause there are million people dies everyday. So, live your life in a good way, and be thankful to God for giving you this life, and people around you for teaching you how life should be, cause without them your life will be so empty. nothing.